BetterHuman: Are Hee Espee Eesy Tee

by chasereeves on March 30, 2009 · 1 comment

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So a guy walks into my office today and he’s cool, real cool.  He’s a copywriter/advertising guy at a local agency, and handsome to boot, with some cute little euro boots.  Immediately I want him to like me.

Why does this desire flare up so automatically.  I’ve got an awesome life: beautiful wife, healthy kid on the way, a job that I love and want to succeed in, amazing friends.  So what’s this a##hole got to do with me?  Why would I care if he thinks I’m valuable or not?

Of course there’s some kind of insecurity involved… “Somewhere, sometime somebody has kicked us all around some,” to loosely quote the legendary Tom Petty.  But I can sense there’s a bit more to it than just this.

I know its got something to do with the industry we’re in; creative advertising is pretty competitive, and I’m new to the whole thing, so the fact that he looks like he’s got it all together is charming to me.  In fact, I’m looking at him and trying to figure out what I need to do in order to BE him.

And as I travel down my motivations, I realize I don’t just want to be him, I want to be better than him; I want to do what he does for better people in better ways with a better reputation!  And, I want him to know it.  I want to push my success on him at his own damn cocktail party!

And therein lies the enlightenment: my need for him to like/respect/value me is not only the result of some insecurity, but also the root of some future arrogance — a future arrogance that will likely suffocate all the warmth from my life if I allow myself to be defined by its own vocabulary.

Insecurity and arrogance feed themselves like this, like some magnetic fields trying to get you swinging in greater and greater arcs away from stillness and a solid belief about yourself.

I’ll go ahead and change now, ok?

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Zach March 31, 2009 at 6:39 am

I have a friend that is exploring this same things… really interesting. http://robbymacdonell.com/blog/getting-involved-and-staying-involved I just linked him to your post too…

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