…Like the time my oldest put the keys in the outlet… didn’t see that coming… surprised him as well…

The past few days I’ve been thinking that there’s something really important about wonder… if I can wonder about my wife and kid, be curious about what he’s learning, what her day was like, I can naturally be invested… And maybe it’s selfishness and the siren call of “work” that kills that wonder?

So i’m looking for tactics to be disciplined about wonder… the only thing I’ve found so far is trying to make time with the lil’ dood fun… wasting about with him on the floor vs. trying to keep him quite so I can watch a soccer match.

It’s good you are noticing this now while they baby is still needing mom so much. Your wife needs your availability, and the key to that is not just to be willing to get up from the laptop when she needs you. She needs to not have to ask you to do that to begin with. It’s annoying to always feel like you are constantly interrupting the other spouse just to have a conversation (it works both ways in our house). The fights built on bitterness are the worst.

All that is to say, work is important and necessary and takes extra hours to build your career. The happiness/fulfillment you get from that is important. But if it’s the most important then you have to ask yourself why are you invested in marriage to begin with. If it’s because you want to be with your mate and not be lonely in life then it has to be MORE important that work. Work is a lot like children. It will take and take and take and grow and cost you time and money… the big difference is what you get in return. Nothing compares to watching your child grow and enjoying that with your spouse.

I don’t usually start my Mondays like this… who needs a drink?

Great post!

There’s no easy answer to any of it. I remember reading about this guy who said he valued success as much as he valued mud

I guess the only way to balance everything in a way that you would like would be some form of detachment from your own ambition – but what fun would that be.

Although some people who work hard end up alienating other people, most don’t. The trick is to know when to stop.

I would say that you keep doing what you’re doing – build your business – 6 months, a year from now, reassess. The trick is to know when to rebalance.

I remember reading a story told by Jung. He mentioned this guy who was incredibly successful – built his business from nothing.

When Jung met him, he was suffering from anxiety attacks. After working with Jung for a while, this guy realised that he had kept building upon his success even though he know it was time to stop – hence the anxiety.

Events from his past meant that he kinda got caught up in this cyclic loop where he couldn’t not work hard – but “his mind” had said enough.

I dunno dude, it’s tough situation you’re in.

I wish you all the best with it

Douglas Gibb

It’s rare a day goes by where I am not coming up with some new business idea, some grand scheme for the future, or – at the very least – some major distraction that takes up my time. I am very much a workaholic and it’s a love-hate relationship. I love the pursuit. I love the diligence. But without boundaries I end up hating myself for what I pursue. All my time and focus ends up being on the project at hand and the work day creeps to be just a little bit longer. “Oh sorry honey… I’ll be there in five.”

When months have gone by and you have only pursued that one side of your life – no matter how exciting or all consuming it might be – you know there is a problem. From my experience, the pursuit of those things I so often put on the sidelines – my wife, my friends, especially my maker – are the things that are really the basis and goal in life (and not just pit stops or distractions from my “vision” of whatever awesome future I’ve conceived of).

Enjoyed the read. Makes me want to take my wife out to dinner.